Some thoughts on… Asking for help

In the midst of the holiday season, we encourage a spirit of helping our fellow man and giving to those who have less.  But, the arguments against the Affordable Care Act seem to be counter to this sentiment. 

At a core level, the Act provides coverage to everyone in the US regardless of pre-existing conditions.  Detractors argue against additional entitlements to those less fortunate and who need coverage.  A New York Times article, found a majority of uninsured people polled also disapprove of the law.  This survey is surprising given that these are individuals that would presumably benefit most from the law.  

This makes me wonder if people are acting against their longer-term self-interest.  Perhaps people feel it shows weakness to receive support from the government.  So, why do we find it so difficult to ask for help?  Let’s see what the arts have to say.

In the movie Gravity, director Alfonso Cuaron provides a breathless view of existence in space.  His astronauts are caught in a storm of debris that tears them away from their shuttle and literally sends them spinning in space.  Sandra Bullock is the novice weighed down by earthly circumstances who is looking for a way to recommit to life.  George Clooney is her celestial savior. The film sends us soaring through a galactic vacuum and makes us realize that we must all fight to be grounded.

All is Lost follows a similar theme of an individual thrown into a survival situation. Robert Redford is sailing alone in the middle of the Pacific when a stray cargo container strikes his craft, thus leading to a series of challenges.  Like the astronauts, our protagonist is very resourceful, but his pleas for help go unheeded by the large corporate behemoths encircling the seas.  None of us can take for granted that we are going to be saved.

We all need help at some point, but we are disinclined to ask.  One reason for the reluctance may be that we don’t recognize that we need help.  In situations of emotional, physical or spiritual trauma, getting back to safety by ourselves is difficult.  But we do have in our control the ability to pause, take a breath and be aware of the situation.  Then we need to ask for aid.  The danger here is that we are happy to continue spinning because it allows us to escape from our realities.  But, inevitably staying in this space will lead to a crash back to earth with even more dire circumstances.

The reluctance could also come from a fear or concern that our request for help will be unanswered.  Initial requests for help that are unheard, leave us empty and bitter.  After repeated events, we start feeling insecure or unworthy.  The only solution here is not to give up, but to be persistent.  The uninsured individuals in the polls may fall in this second category, because their opposition to the Act may come from a fear of costs and a sense that the system has betrayed them before and so are unwilling to seek further help.

Many of us fall into this situation, where we know we need help but are unwilling to ask, because of fear of rejection.  For the new year, it’s good to remember that lending a hand to a request for support will make it more likely it comes back to us when we need it.

Happy New Year and Best Wishes for 2014.