Some thoughts on… Accumulating Loss

With the midterm elections of Obama’s first term, the voice of the electorate is clear. The country has moved strongly to the right. Republicans have gained control of the House supported by Tea Party enthusiasm. Democrats barely hold on to the Senate and the Administration concedes the need for a course correction. A pendulum swing in voter preference is not a new phenomenon, and likely indicates discontent with the economy. But the finger pointing can be done in all directions, and it is clear we are all frustrated with a federal government unable to work together for the nation’s good.

As liberal-minded individuals, shouldn’t we be sad about the Democratic loss? Let’s see what the arts have to say about this.

David Fincher’s recent film, The Social Network, is a re-telling of the rise of Mark Zuckerberg from Harvard college student to owner and CEO of Facebook. Based on court documents and interviews with key individuals, Aaron Sorkin’s instant message-like dialogue connects the perspectives of the ideators, visionaries and builders of the site as they watch a nascent concept transform into a behemoth. Fincher moves us through the story at internet speeds helping us see how intelligent and motivated individuals can create a $27 billion company from a $1,000 initial investment and making Zuckerberg the youngest billionaire (under 30) in the world.

The tagline for the movie hints at the morality play underlying this hyper growth – “You don’t get to 500 friends without making some enemies”. Along this ascent, we watch individuals compromise ethics, morals and relationships in pursuit of their dream. The trade-offs portrayed in the movie are not surprising. We have seen on the screen before how willing people are to throw-off ballast from racing ship. What is unexpected is the regret of the protagonists. On the way to the summit, they know they are making egregious missteps which they mourn for a nano-second, but they are unable to stop from climbing.

The movie, Brief Encounter, based on a script by Noel Coward has been re-interpreted for Broadway. The story follows chaste lovers who meet incidentally then surreptitiously at a train station discovering their attraction and then their guilt over the reunions in a month’s time. The production splashes the audience with waves of affection as the couple is overtaken with love. Combining aspects of silent film and minstrel show, Emma Rice’s adaptation is the roller-coaster of an abbreviated romance –confusion of a first encounter, thrill of interim reconnaissance, melancholy of an inevitable departure.

As a closeted gay man in the 1930’s, Coward must have been writing of his own inability to create a meaningful relationship. A feeling of deprivation and longing are only strengthened by the tantalizing notion that cutting existing bonds and societal norms could lead to ultimate happiness. Despite their loveless marriages and suffocating every day lives, the couple comply with their responsibilities in the end. Releasing each other from short-term happiness, and hopefully becoming stronger people in the long-term.

At my brother Wameek’s graduation from Vassar seven years ago, Susan Sontag the keynote speaker said that “life is an accumulation of loss”. This is a fact. The question is how we deal with it. In a world of internet geniuses, Russian oligarchs and Chinese manufacturing tycoons, becoming a billionaire by the age of 40 has never been more real or as fast. But the result of gathering material, political or academic achievement quickly is that the inevitable loss makes one powerless, negative and frustrated. On the other hand, being able to appreciate the equally inevitable gains is a celebration of the small wins of life.

The Facebook founders’ accelerated accumulation early in life made their successive losses seem devastating. By the end of the movie, Zuckerberg despite unquestionable financial success is still looking for a meaningful relationship. In contrast, the star-crossed lovers from Brief Encounter built steady lives with incremental wins – a house, family, kids. For them the loss of a singular love is heart-breaking but also something to be remembered and to grow from.

The loss of Democratic control is disappointing, but perhaps we gained too much too quickly. Taking a step back, we may now need to appreciate what we did achieve – passing ground-breaking legislation on Health Care, stabilizing the world economy, and reviving failed businesses like GM. Like the lover’s encounter, we can celebrate the heady days and go back to our responsibility of piecing together a divided country and ascending from the experience.


November 7, 2010